Plans, and the funny things that happen to them

There are times in life when things don't go according to your master plan. Something happens and you realise that actually, you can't control everything. You can set things in motion, move in one direction, and then, BOOM, something else happens and off you go, a different route is taken.

We never really had a plan that was set in stone, but we had map that we plotted out early in our relationship. M and I met here, in London. I had just moved to the city, knowing that it was a place I wanted to live from an early age. I was 20 and wasn't looking forward to where I wanted to be in 5, 10 years time. I just knew that this is where I wanted to be now. M and I moved intogether 6 months later. We made London ours.

During those early days, he took me to his favourite place. His seaside town that had been home to him during his uni days, a placed he loved and wanted to share with me. Well, I loved it too. It felt like home. And so, another plot on our map was born.

'One day, when we buy a house and have babies, we'll do it here, beside the sea'

And that's how it was. We planned our journey back to the seaside. We got engaged a year after moving in together. We thought about getting married in the town by the sea. We didn't live there yet though, so maybe not. But the chatter of when we would move got more serious. On weekend visits to the seaside, we would conspire. We would look in estate agent windows. We thought seriously about how the commute to London would work out with M's shift work, and whether I could find work there.

Then the BOOM happened. We found out that M's job was set to be relocated. Not to our place by the sea, but around 266 miles north. This was NOT our plan. M and I both work for the same company. His department was moving, mine was not. It was complicated. But at the same time, this was all due to happen a few years down the line.

'It will probably never happen'
'Another job will come up, and we won't have to go'
'We'll definitely win the lottery before that move comes around'

We told ourselves these things over and over, and got distracted in the meantime by the wonderful wedding and building our marriage and having a baby. Friends would ask us 'When's the big move?' and we would frown and pout and push the question aside. Denial is a wonderful thing.

Then in January this year, it hit us. It is happening. Another job is very unlikely to come up. We have not won the lottery. Our plan has changed and not at our request.

Getting used to something you never envisioned is probably the hardest thing of all. We never thought of living in the city we will soon call home. In fact, we'd never even been there. A few weeks ago, we had our second visit, to scope out areas we might want to live. It's a cool city. There is countryside on the doorstep. There are lovely areas we could call home. We have a few, great friends who will make us feel like we belong. But on the day we left, wandering in the rain, I felt homesick and took solace in my husband.

'What if it doesn't feel like home?'
'It will. Because I will be here, and you will be here, and that is what home is. Wherever we are'.

My husband says all the right things.

It's so easy to look at what we are losing. But in actual fact, there is a lot that we could gain. The move holds opportunity. Big, shiny chances to chase dreams and make changes that wouldn't be possible in the big money sucking capital of London. The chance to explore a new place, meet new people, have new experiences. A new place to add to our map.

And whilst our planned journey has changed, maybe the destination will always be the same.

Photograph via Flickr


  1. They say it's the journey rather than the destination that is important...

    Home is where the heart is afterall, and you'll be building new dreams and plans together...

    Ingrid x

  2. I find myself in a similar situation, with the prospect of potentially moving 400 miles north, on the horizon. It's funny how plans change. I'll be reading your follow up posts with interest...

  3. Keep hold of your dreams - they haven't been cancelled out just delayed slightly.
    You will make a home where ever you all are, together.

  4. The best things in my life have happened when I've been derailed from a preset plan. I hope this turns out exactly the same way for you guys.

    Also, your husband? He is wise.

  5. Never let go of your dream to live by the sea because it can still happen. Now you just have to embrace the move you are making right now. As long as you are with your husband and your little one I am sure you can make the new city a happy home.

  6. Don't you love when husbands say such thoughtful things? They're good to have around.

  7. Oof yes this is tough, having the path changed without consultation as it were. But as wise husband says, it will be home because it will be the home you as a family make. And in the meantime we're all here for you, whenever you need us. xx

  8. You'll get here. x

    (And we'll still be here, by the way. Maybe T and S aren't supposed to get to know each other too well until they're a bit older because they get married...?!)