Now you are One

Things to remember

+ The way you fall asleep in my arms. Before naps and bedtime, I hold you across my chest and quietly whisper goodnight to you. Your head always on the left, next to my heart, your legs forever getting longer and wrapping around and tucking under my arm. You snuggle in and look up at me. We rock a little in the quiet of your room and then your eyes slowly start to roll, eyelids flutter and you're gone. {Getting to sleep has never been your problem, it's forever those middle of the night parties you love}

+ How you run to me when I call your name. I open my arms for you and you collapse into me . No matter how far away you are, you always come, but in the past few days you think it's hilarious to get around a foot away and then quickly divert off course, laughing like a maniac.

+ The noise you make when I ask for a cuddle. You bury your head and stretch your pudgy little arms around and make the sweeeeeeetest sigh.

+ The way you immediately stick your tongue out as far as it will go once a wet wipe comes into contact with your face just in case you can get a taste. And how I sometimes find you sucking one after emptying the packet. (I don't get it either, friend)

+ The dimples where your knuckles will eventually be. For now though, your little hands are covered in a layer of fat that is irresistible. 

+ The way you run to your brother when you see him, and sometimes wander the house looking for him, saying 'dach', when he's not here.

+ That warm, sticky, sweet baby scent when you wake. So good it needs to be bottled.

+ Your 'happy angry' face. It's the most amazing thing. You scrunch your nose and simultaneously sneer and smile, baring your bottom two teeth and laughing like a villain in a superhero movie.

+ Your first word. You say buh-buh whilst waving goodbye to anyone as soon as they get ready to leave. 

+ The way you bounce your knees when you hear music. Taylor swift is your current fave. 

+ The way you light up when we sing wheels on the bus. 'Round round round' was one of the first things you said that clearly sounded like words.

+ The way you say 'quack quack' on sight of a rubber duck. 

+ The way you open your mouth wide and smoosh into me when I say 'kiss', then laugh hysterically afterwards.

+ Your leg rolls. Now you've been walking a few months your legs are getting leaner, and the rolls are lessening, much to our dissipointment. At their height though I could squeeze my finger in the fold and it would disappear. Now it's summer you have a tan from where your bare legs stick out of the pram. Your legs are brown but when you stretch, the inner folds are baby white.

There are a million things to remember and my foggy brain is struggling to recall them all here, even now as we live them day in, day out. There are also some to forget, but it seems a little unnecessary to list those things. Let's just say that your sleeping (hahahaha) patterns will forever be etched somewhere in the darkest part of my brain, though I'm sure in 20 years time that nostalgia and longing will have taken over and our middle of the night parties will all seem distant and amusing...

I know from experience that so many of the specifics of this time will fade from my memory. The baby years are tiring and wonderful and hard and magic, and so fast I can't catch my breath sometimes. But whilst the details might be fuzzy without lists like these, I won't forget you, dear A. How your joy was deep, and determination vast and your personality just wondrous and shiny.

Happy One, my babe.

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