We Are Equal

Yesterday was a very important day for England and Wales. Yesterday, we moved forward. Our future was shown to us and it looked brighter. Yesterday, the equal marriage bill was passed which means that same sex couples can legally marry. I shed a few tears of joy when the votes were read. 

Before that, I shed tears as it was discussed in the House of Commons for different reasons. There is was so much wrong with this process; a room full of (mostly) middle aged men, some extremely bigoted, presumably few who are gay, deciding on the future liberty of LGBT men and woman clearly isn't the best scenario. BUT. The outcome was right. 

In my lifetime this is the biggest thing to happen for civil rights. I cannot tell you how happy it makes me to know that ANYONE CAN LEGALLY DECALRE THEIR LOVE IN FRONT OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND THE WORLD AND BE MARRIED. My Son is growing up in a world where you can marry whomever you love. We are equal.

It's not the end of the fight. Things won't change overnight I'm sure. But the wheels are in motion and we are on our way.

Yesterday was good, it made our tomorrow better.

Photography by The Long Haul Photo

The magic hour

SPOILER ALERT: Sometimes, being a parent is hard. Some days, you're sleep deprived, your house is covered in an explosion of brightly coloured blocks and cheerios, and you feel like your child's only reason for living is to test you. Normally on these days, there will be tears, tantrums and the throwing of things. Sometimes them, sometimes you. 


But. BUT. I have a secret. No matter how hard the day has been, there is without fail, one part that will miraculously render the memory of the previous hours null and void. 


BATH TIME. In our house, this is the magic hour. No matter how close we have been to killing each other minutes before, the call of 'bath time!' does something. On very bad days, I have been known to run a bath at 3pm. On very bad days, we have stayed there, swimming in that water, for hours. We wash the day off. We play. We sing. We talk and laugh and without fail, we are happy.

Three

Three years ago, in the depths of winter, on the shortest day and the longest night of the year, we got married.

I love this time of year generally, but now, winter solstice has an added meaning for us. An extra burst of light and joy in this seasonally dark month. An added layer of reflection, even more reasons to be thankful.

Tonight we will be celebrating with food, wine, laughter, each other. And it being the longest night of the year will seem like the bestest thing of all! 

Happy Anniversary, husband.

Photograph via We Heart It

Plans, and the funny things that happen to them

There are times in life when things don't go according to your master plan. Something happens and you realise that actually, you can't control everything. You can set things in motion, move in one direction, and then, BOOM, something else happens and off you go, a different route is taken.

We never really had a plan that was set in stone, but we had map that we plotted out early in our relationship. M and I met here, in London. I had just moved to the city, knowing that it was a place I wanted to live from an early age. I was 20 and wasn't looking forward to where I wanted to be in 5, 10 years time. I just knew that this is where I wanted to be now. M and I moved intogether 6 months later. We made London ours.

During those early days, he took me to his favourite place. His seaside town that had been home to him during his uni days, a placed he loved and wanted to share with me. Well, I loved it too. It felt like home. And so, another plot on our map was born.

'One day, when we buy a house and have babies, we'll do it here, beside the sea'

And that's how it was. We planned our journey back to the seaside. We got engaged a year after moving in together. We thought about getting married in the town by the sea. We didn't live there yet though, so maybe not. But the chatter of when we would move got more serious. On weekend visits to the seaside, we would conspire. We would look in estate agent windows. We thought seriously about how the commute to London would work out with M's shift work, and whether I could find work there.

Then the BOOM happened. We found out that M's job was set to be relocated. Not to our place by the sea, but around 266 miles north. This was NOT our plan. M and I both work for the same company. His department was moving, mine was not. It was complicated. But at the same time, this was all due to happen a few years down the line.

'It will probably never happen'
'Another job will come up, and we won't have to go'
'We'll definitely win the lottery before that move comes around'

We told ourselves these things over and over, and got distracted in the meantime by the wonderful wedding and building our marriage and having a baby. Friends would ask us 'When's the big move?' and we would frown and pout and push the question aside. Denial is a wonderful thing.

Then in January this year, it hit us. It is happening. Another job is very unlikely to come up. We have not won the lottery. Our plan has changed and not at our request.

Getting used to something you never envisioned is probably the hardest thing of all. We never thought of living in the city we will soon call home. In fact, we'd never even been there. A few weeks ago, we had our second visit, to scope out areas we might want to live. It's a cool city. There is countryside on the doorstep. There are lovely areas we could call home. We have a few, great friends who will make us feel like we belong. But on the day we left, wandering in the rain, I felt homesick and took solace in my husband.

'What if it doesn't feel like home?'
'It will. Because I will be here, and you will be here, and that is what home is. Wherever we are'.

My husband says all the right things.

It's so easy to look at what we are losing. But in actual fact, there is a lot that we could gain. The move holds opportunity. Big, shiny chances to chase dreams and make changes that wouldn't be possible in the big money sucking capital of London. The chance to explore a new place, meet new people, have new experiences. A new place to add to our map.

And whilst our planned journey has changed, maybe the destination will always be the same.

Photograph via Flickr

9 months and 3 weeks

* You wake up every morning, without fail, in the happiest mood I know. Daddy and I hear you chat, and sing and clap your hands. Sometimes we race in to be the one who sees you first. Sometimes it's a bit harder to get ourselves out of bed...

* You love to chat all day now. Lots of new noises, but mostly dadada, mamama or bababa. Whenever there's a new sound, it's very exciting. Dididi is your latest.

* You love to explore everything. Crawling is old hat now, and you've taken to pulling yourself up and taking tiny, unsteady steps whilst holding on to things. It's amazing to see you challenge yourself as you work out co-ordination and balance.

* You love your reflection (almost as much as Daddy loves his). You chat away to the baby, and often kiss him too.

* Clapping is a big thing for you. Since that day you woke up with this new ability, you just can't stop. You're starting to wave more too, although sometimes get the two mixed up!

* You love to eat. You haven't yet met a food, or object for that matter, that you don't love munching. You're happiest when you can hold your food, and especially happy if Mummy is feeding you at the same time.

* Your hair is still growing in a mowhawk. We have no idea why it only grows down the center of your head. We love to make it sticky-upy when you have a bath.

* Bath time is lots of fun. You love to splash and swim around, chewing Mrs Duck the rubber duck. Your new trick is to pull the plug out, which often means short baths!

* You sleep on your tummy now, and mostly end up in a star shape, arms out wide. Daddy and I sneak in and check on you every night. We look at each other and share a look that says ' Can you believe how lucky we are?' We can't.